Honing a Philosophy

I've thought a lot over the years about what it means to "embrace the awkward." After all, if you're going to have a life philosophy, it's good to know what you really mean by it. I think initially, for me and for my friend Sejal (who actually coined the phrase), embracing the awkward often meant being willing to go out of our way to get a good story: to go on the date with the person you knew probably wasn't right for you, to engage with the crazy stranger who sat next to you on public transit, to dance like a fool in public. I have definitely done all of those things--many times.

There will always be a place for that level of awkward-embracing: being willing to go the extra mile to create some craziness in your life is good for you, and it does make for great stories. But as I've gotten a little older and a little calmer, and gotten into a serious relationship (and thus can't end every weekend with an arsenal of crazy bad date stories), I've realized that the wisdom of this philosophy extends deeper than I first thought.

There are other ways to embrace awkwardness. They're more subtle, but I think they still have the ability to make your life better. As an example, I've just moved across the country to a place where I don't have a job, don't know anyone, and don't have any easy, built-in ways to meet new people. It has been a very long time since I've lived anywhere where that was true. But thankfully, what I do have is a commitment to embracing the awkward. In this case, that means trying to network (even though I hate it and feel like I'm bad at it), putting myself out there and following up when I meet new, cool people, and trying to find ways to make this new place feel like a home. All of that feels pretty awkward. It's hard. It's a lot of work. There are lots of times I'd really rather not try. And that's when this "embracing the awkward" philosophy serves me best: it reminds me that if I show up--if I try, even when i don't feel like it--the odds are decent something really good will come from it. And if nothing good comes from it? Well, I've still got a story I can re-tell and laugh at later, and that's always been a pretty good consolation prize.

Too Long

It's been a very long time since I've written on my blog--nearly two and a half years. I'd like to say that even without writing on this blog, I was regularly embracing awkward situations, but I'm not totally sure that's true.

A lot has happened in the time since then. But between school, and being in a serious relationship, and just generally getting kind of lazy, I've gotten out of the habit of seeking out awkwardness. And the thing about getting out of the habit of something is that it's then really hard to get back INTO the habit. It feels hard. It feels scary. Why would I want to be awkward, when I could just hide comfortably at home?

But choosing not to embrace awkward situations is suddenly no longer an option: for the first time in 8 years, I've moved somewhere where I literally do not know a single person (except the man I moved here with, my fiance Mike), and I don't have a job (in a market and a field where finding a job is going to be tough). So I think it's a good time to re-learn how to embrace awkward situations--indeed, to actively seek them out. I'm pretty sure that embracing the awkwardness is what it's going to take to make this new place really feel like home.